To live a contended and successful life with cordial relationship with people around is very important. The life of the person is always connected to others and the level of relation with other person depends on how you deal and treat them. While dealing with people there are many factors with influence the terms one has which includes communication skills, the way of dealing and interacting with others and social ethics.
Interpersonal skills are important to live a happy successful living. In every step of person’s life the interpersonal skills of person are tested and observe and those who have excellent interpersonal skills are always successful in both professional and personal living. This paper discusses the points which are important to maintain good interpersonal skills and why they should be kept maintained and polished.
Interpersonal Relationship Skills
The relation of the person with other people around him is known as interpersonal relationship. The skilled interpersonal qualities are very necessary for living a comfortable life with good social relations. No one is born with social skills. Everyone learns, perceives and absorb the social norms and the way of dealing people; which comes with time. The first school of social learning of a person is home. Home is the first place where one learns basic etiquettes, social norms and how to deal and respond to people. The basic learning of person is started and is leant from home. And since then a journey of learning and improving the social skills is constant. The social skills and interpersonal skills of a person are experienced when he enters the professional life. And with time these skills are polished.
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The interpersonal skills vary from person to person. There are two types of people while dealing with people, introvert and extrovert. Each of these people would be different in dealing with other and thus the relationship, communication and level of dealing of communication with each type would be different. The interpersonal skills are also affected by the environment we grew in, our personal preferences, the way we feel, the personality type etc.
Interpersonal skills are needed everywhere. Whenever a person has to deal or communicate with other people or person the interpersonal skills of person are shown. Basically there are three stages where interpersonal skills are needed; personal dealing, social interactions and cooperation. All such relations such as friends, coworkers, family relatives, cousins, neighborhood and peers all are included in interpersonal relations.
Five Principles for good Interpersonal Relationship
Good interpersonal relationship leads people to deal and work in friendly and cozy environment. Health interpersonal relations provide people security, satisfaction, enjoyment and contentment towards each other. And those who are not successful to gain good interpersonal relations with people around them feel great sense of frustration, anxiety, failure and loneliness. To have good interpersonal relationship there are five important principals which are as following:
Mutual Benefit Principle:
The strong interpersonal relations are formed when people share same group of interests. It helps them to form a strong bond and meet up the social need of themselves; and as well as those one which are related or are connected with each other. So a health interpersonal relationship brings satisfaction to both sides of people. And to have such cordial terms both of the parties have to show a friendly affection with acceptance towards other. This is more successful when both parties share mutual interest and are capable of understanding each other.
For making the relation with the people fruitful and pleasant it is important to make people feel that you are useful for them. When people are treated this way they value you but more important is maintaining such interpersonal relation. The mutual understanding can be achieved through mutual sincerity and good intentions for each other. Only such feelings will enhance the good emotions and will make the relationship stronger no matter what type of relationship it is. When there is mutual understanding and benefits people tend to be more positive about such relations and to maintain such interpersonal relationships it is important to value the credit received and given.
No matter how alike the people are there can be many situations were two views are shared. When someone has to deal people socially there is always a presence of different views. And to keep the environment safe, friendly and healthy everyone should have a tolerance to accept and hear other point of views. Many times there comes a point when people exchange views which are different from other, even if someone doesn’t seem to agree then the interpersonal skills teaches us to show tolerance and acceptance to listen other views. Everyone has a right of freedom of speech so everyone has right to share their thoughts. So only through tolerance and respect one can maintain good interpersonal relationships.
Tolerance means that a person does not care about small minor issues, and by keeping aside the disturbing issues one can work together for a common goal and can negotiate the issues separately without letting the environment and relationship to get spoil. As there is always an individual difference, everyone has different mindset which brings out different view somewhere, through tolerance one can only deal with such situations. If someone had shown harsh behavior or has hurt you then there are two basic ways to deal with it, first keep a grudge, plot revenge or try to forget about it and never bother to expect something from that person. A skilled interpersonal person would prefer the second option and will try to deal the situations with tolerance.
There should be a health interpersonal relation with people. A distant relation brings distance and lack of communication where as too much communication and time together causes irritation, obsession and lack of sense of space. To maintain a good social interpersonal relation one should keep a moderate way to deal and communicate with people. So the degree of relation should be maintained properly regarding the type of relationship one has. (Elanso.com, 2007)
Misconceptions in interpersonal relationships
The misconceptions between two people can lead to poor communication and fragile relations. There are many reasons which can bring distance and bitterness in any relations. Following are some of the reasons which can lead to misconceptions.
First impression: we often build up the first impression of people very quickly and those impressions get engraved in our mind which becomes very difficult to omit. First impression is not the last impression and one should never judge anyone completely in first impressions. There are many factors which should be noticed before making an observation about people. The reason for which I personally think the first impression causes misconception is that when the person have built a mind set about the person then it became difficult for him to deal with them. Even if they do well the other person would judge and make observation in a reflection of the impression he has built about him.
Error in understanding: there are many reasons which can leads to error in understanding the person. As mentioned above due to the building up the first impression very quickly can also cause misconception in interpersonal relationships. There are many other factors which can cause error in understanding other person’s impression such as the way of delivering or conveying the message, variety of thoughts and ideas which can also become objectionable to others.
Pride and self-worth: if any other the person has too much pride and confidence then it will also militate against the good interpersonal relations. When the person is head headed then people find it difficult to communicate with them which lead other people not to open up with them. Such traits in personality don’t let other people to communicate with them which lead to misconception and lack of good friendly terms.
Barrier in communication: there can be many reasons which can cause barrier in communication. This barrier in communication between people causes distance and poor communication. When there is poor communication the person is not able to communicate their message or feelings well, which brings out distance in-between people.
Barriers to Effective Interpersonal Interactions
Following are the most basic and noticeable points which causes barriers to effective interpersonal interactions:
Way of communicating the message to other. If the speech or message is not clearly delivered then such situations can lead to barrier in cordial interpersonal relations.
Assuming a wrong meaning of message conveyed can also leads to misunderstanding, grudges and sometimes even to verbal fights.
The body language and tone of delivering words also makes a great impact. The way of delivering ones message is the first thing which other notice. If the person finds it good and well-mannered then the good interpersonal relations are grown.
The reference through which a person came to know someone also makes a great impact on the person. That reference always defines the person in the light of reference one has mentioned.
Person is known by the company he keeps. In building a good interpersonal relations this line makes a great impact. If someone’s comes to know the third person through a bad reference then the image of the third person will be automatically bad. Or somewhere the impact of the reference would stay till one gets to know them properly.
Developing the self-concept
Having a self-concept about one self is very important. When the person knows his abilities, good points and weak points then it helps him to be a better person and let them to overcome the negative points. A person should be always open to learn new things which include the acceptance to the views which people give. Where the good views and comments help the person to build a confidence; the negative views also give the person the opportunity to see himself with a critical point of view and then overcome such points. Here is a list of points which help person to build a self-concept and how to improve one own self.
By recalling the previous achievement.
By recalling the good feedbacks and comments received
By doing a self-analysis of the personality , keeping in mind the good points and the bad points
Indulging oneself in a new tasks and situation to see how good and efficiently you can tackle them
By meeting new people and seeing their response about you
By adjusting yourself in new situations
By overcoming the fears you have, as they will help you in being a better person
Handling difficult situations and people and rechecking yourself that how good and successful you were
Recalling the past mistakes so that you don’t repeat them in future
Polishing the capabilities and potentials one has
Facing and overcoming the weak points
Doing a self-analysis and rechecking the past mistakes and weak points helps the person in being a better person. We often make mistakes which we regret later. So by recalling the mistakes and trying to analysis ones mistakes gives a person a better picture. One should always be open to accept his mistakes so that he can correct them.
We loses many of our relations because of our different mistakes, if we do a self-analysis more often than we would be able to maintain our relationships better and can bring the loved ones back in life.
Maintaining a self-concept
By maintaining a self-concept means that on should keep improving himself and should try to maintain a good self-image. One should cut down and overcome the flaws and try to deal with difficult situations. And keep venturing himself with new situations which will help the person to improve the personality and abilities of socializing. Here is a list of point which one should follow in maintaining a self-image.
Being constant in good behavior
By being down to earth
Open to criticism and realizing self-mistakes
Keeping tolerance while dealing with people
By being polite to people
Overcoming the one own flaws and keep improving the personality
Finding new horizons in professional fields
Giving task to oneself to see whether you can do t or not
Challenging your own self in health way
Keeping a positive thinking so that you are able to see positive things in people around you.
Improving the interpersonal skills
Little gestures and care can bring out the best in any relationship. Interpersonal relations are very important for a person to live a happy and successful life. We meet and deal with different types of people. Every person has different personality. So even if we don’t seem to agree or like other people we should never criticize anyone with sarcasm. Continuous complaining and whining about others will make the self-image down. And even if one has to make the other person realize their mistakes then always chose a moderate decent way to convey the message. Whereas if someone does something good always appreciate them. Saying nice about other will bring the element of love and affection. A response of smile should be given with a smile. These little gestures and concern towards people bring people together and in such environment its easy n fruitful to carry healthy interpersonal relations.
Interpersonal skills are very important to maintain a good living. A life of a person is always surrounded by people. So dealing people with right attitude is very essential. For maintaining a healthy relationship with people one should deal other with patience, tolerance and care; one should always accept individual differences and personality traits of others. And very often one should do self-analysis so that a constant improvement in personality should be there. Social skills are only improved when one ventures to experience now situations. Holding good interpersonal skills with people is essential for successful living in all stages; personal, social and cooperation.