Psychological manipulation is like brain washing in that it wears away the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whichever way it is done, the results will be fairly similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and the final remaining vestiges of personal value. Psychological manipulation cuts through to the very core of a person. It cuts scars that are deeper and longer lasting than physical ones.
Manipulators may take many forms to manipulate people throughout the different ages. Most people have all been manipulated by others. Telling a white lie in order to get what we want is one way of manipulation. Students are dishonorable for telling teachers that they couldn’t get their paper in on time because their computer crashed the previous night. Employees claim to be sick in order to miss a day of work. When a manipulator manipulates other people, he is depriving them from their ability to make decisions based on their own accurate reading of reality. When a manipulator tells a lie, he provides an alternate reality to the other person therefore, they make decisions that may be to that manipulator’s advantage, but it may not be a decision that this person would make if he knew all the facts.
People all want to trust and assume the best in other people. People believe that when someone tells them something, the other person is telling the truth. When people have been repeatedly hurt because others have taken advantage of our trust, People may change their beliefs about the world. They may become pessimistic and try to undermine others before we are hurt again. However, the best strategy is probably to trust until someone shows us that they can’t be trusted. It’s even better if we can learn how to recognize psychological manipulation when it appears. (Recognition of psychological manipulation will be seen later in this paper).
Manipulators use many techniques of manipulation. I will now state two which I find used by many manipulators. A psychological manipulator is always displaying his/herself in the image of a willing helper. If you ask him/her to do something they will almost agree. In other words, when you ask him for something he agrees and when you thank him/her, he/she makes a lot of sighs or gestures that let you know they don’t really want to do whatever you asked of him/her.
Psychological manipulators can make you doubt yourself as they are very good at turning things around. They will say a thing and later assure you that they didn’t where they can make you think that one plus one is three. Psychological Manipulation can be very effective that it may control ur behaviors and actions such as seen in the famous novel “1984”.
There are simple ways in which you can spot manipulators therefore preventing them from manipulating you. First thing to keep in mind is when a manipulator has years of experience they use words as their weapon of choice. They know exactly what to say and how to say it in order to get what they want. Understand that psychological manipulators don’t care what you want. They may act as though they do, but know that they have great acting ability. Many can cry on cue or act out fits of rage and not be angry at all.
The second thing you should put in mind is that emotional manipulators are charming and all your friends and family will like them. They put on their best impersonation of a nice person around others. They continue this facade throughout your time together. This deception is how they make you turn out to be the crazy one.
Your feelings are your best friend. If something doesn’t feel right and you are feeling confused, then you need to really pay close attention to what this person is saying and doing. When you find that their actions don’t match their words, take this is a bright red flag. They will say something like “Everybody makes mistakes. Even I’m not perfect.” This is a guilt trap set up and don’t fall into it!
Third psychological manipulation tactic is flirting. They flirt right in front of you, and then accuse you of over reacting. Naturally, then, you’re the bad person ; they’re just being friendly, and so on. They thrive on your drama, so they find ways to push your buttons.
Remember, in the beginning they’re listening and watching, so they know what gets to you. Give them ammunition and they will use it! This is why you do not bare secrets early on. It’s your secrets and fears that they use to make you appear unstable and unreasonable.
The Fourth and most important to keep in mind is to look for doubt to set in, not in them, but in you. You will start doubting your own sanity. Did I really say that? Did I really do that? Emotional manipulation is all about making a person doubt themselves. This way the manipulator is always right and always gets their way. They are in control and plan to keep it that way.
The use of guilt, anger, deception, intimidation, control and power will all come into play at some point. They will also be ambiguous, elusive, and emotionally unavailable. There is no love only lust. Sad to say, but many people mistake lust for love and fall for this tactic head first.
The last thing to take care of is to know that the worst part of this is that if you’re around them long enough, you will become like them. That’s right, you become like who you’re around. How do you fight back or survive if you don’t use emotional manipulation tactics yourself? After all, manipulators don’t play fair! It’s called natural adaptation.
Many times it ends in sadness and violence; emotional baggage to carry for life unless counseling is sought. If you don’t want to fall for these emotional manipulators build up your self esteem and confidence, so that you find their behaviors are unacceptable.
People are sitting at a neutral state being swung back and forth on what and who to believe. They don’t know that manipulation can be very dangerous and can be used in totalitarianism especially if they are manipulated by double think. An example of double think, the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously and accepting both of them, as a manipulation technique for a large population (e.g. population of a country) is found in the novel 1984 by George Orwell. Where British citizens are psychologically manipulated to believe what the government and media declares.
‘War is Peace’ is an example. To illustrate ‘War is Peace’, we must look at the term ‘keeping the peace’. America, the world’s liberator, has a wicked habit of ‘keeping the peace’ in foreign lands. What this really means is that they send troops to these lands, armed with the most advanced weaponry, and threaten to kill everyone that goes against the interests of democracy. All of this is in the name of ‘keeping the peace’. The act of doublethink is now common in the world, many young adults are torn to believe contradictory statements about politics, and life which will prevent future generations from knowing what peace is.
Not everyone in this world knows about psychological manipulation. Psychological manipulation techniques may be scattered all around your life; but that doesn’t mean you have to give in to them. With this paper, you are now more equipped to handle different manipulative techniques. I also do recommend people to prepare their children to overcome manipulation.
Title: Mind Control.
Publisher: Citadel; illustrated edition edition (August 1, 2006).
Author: Dr.Haha Lung.