This chapter includes discussion on related foreign and local studies, reviewed by the researcher which provides relevant facts about Self-Perception and relationship of CEU Nursing Student with Broken Family.
Navarro (1990) revealed that solo parenting is a difficult road, though at the end you’re glad you saw it through because the real rewards are having a happy, healthy kid and being a better person for it.
Solo parents want to be reassured that they are not damaging their children. Some experts are reassuring, as in an article that appeared in a professional journal. This review of social psychological research into female-headed families conducted between1970-1980 concludes that theoretically, children do not need the presence of the same sex/opposite-sex parents in the family in order to develop sex-role behavior. Children in female-headed families are likely to have good emotional adjustment, good self-esteem except when they are stigmatized, intellectual development comparable to others in the same socio-economic status.
It is possible for a solo woman or man to satisfy all of a child’s parental needs? It’s an important question these days because there are more and more such families. The largest number, of course, is those headed by women who are separated. And relatively small but growing of women are choosing to raise a child – their own or an adopted child-without the help of a partner.
We can learn something about the best ways solo parents to raise their children if we first consider how children benefit from the presence of both parents.
Boys and girls learn to think, feel and behave primarily from identification with their parent of the same sex, particularly when they’re between the ages of three and six. We see this in the way boys imitate their fathers and girls imitate their mothers, but children are leaving other important lessons as well. Through their interaction and partial identification with their parent of the opposite sex (and the inevitable romantic attachment that they go through at this age), children begin to acquire some of their intuition and understanding about the opposite sex. And as children see how their parents live together, their future ability to have good relationship with the opposite sex- not only as lovers, but as friends and co-workers is influenced.
But even in nuclear families children are inspired by adults than their parents- whether its teachers, coaches, sports figures or other idol they latch onto.
What does all of this mean for the parents raising her children on her own? And what factors can contribute to her success?
Let’s first consider the case in which a solo father lives within visiting distance and is concerned with fulfilling his responsibility to his children. Children can gain a great deal from their father even though he lives apart from them – if they are able to visit him regularly or if he maintains frequent, steady contact through letters and phone calls. Fostering such closeness is the most effective and easiest way for a mother to make-up for the father’s absence.
In the United States, the effects of single-parent family life on children fall into two categories: (1) those attributed to the lower socioeconomic status of single parents and (2) the short-term consequences of divorce that moderate over time. Four factors are predictive of U.S. children’s adjustment to the divorce of their parents: the passage of time, the quality of the children’s relationship with their residential parent, the level of conflict between parents, and the economic standing of the children’s residential family. In the first few years after a divorce, the children have higher rates of antisocial behavior, aggression, anxiety, and school problems than children in two parent families. However, some of these problems may be attributed to a decrease in available resources and adult super-vision; many of the negative effects disappear when there is adequate supervision, income, and continuity in social networks (McLanahan and Sandefur 1994).
In mother-only families, children tend to experience short-and long-term economic and psychological disadvantages; higher absentee rates at school, lower levels of education, and higher dropout rates (with boys more negatively affected than girls); and more delinquent activity, including alcohol and drug addiction. Adolescents, on the other hand, are more negatively affected by parental discord prior to divorce than by living in single-parent families and actually gain in responsibility as a result of altered family routines (Demo and Acock 1991). Children in single-mother homes are also more likely to experience health-related problems as a result of the decline in their living standard, including the lack of health insurance (Mauldin 1990). Later, as children from single-parent families become adults, they are more likely to marry early, have children early, and divorce. Girls are at greater risk of becoming single mothers as a result of nonmarital childbearing or divorce (McLanahan and Booth 1989). Although the research findings are mixed on long-term effects, the majority of children adjust and recover and do not experience severe problems over time (Coontz 1997).
A common explanation for the problems found among the children of single parents has been the absence of a male adult in the family (Gongla 1982). The relationship between children and non-custodial fathers can be difficult and strained. Fathers often become disinterested and detached from their children; in one study more than 60 percent of fathers either did not visit their children or had no contact with them for over a year. The loss of a father in the family can have implications beyond childhood (Wallerstein and Blakeslee 1989). However, the lack of a male presence may not be as critical as the lack of a male income to the family. The economic deprivation of single-parent family life, in combination with other sources of strain and stress, is a major source of the problems experienced by both parents and children. 1
Religious Involvement and Children’s Well-Being: What Research Tells Us (And What It Doesn’t)
According to Lisa J. Bridges, Ph.D., and Kristin Anderson Moore, Ph.D., Prosocial and Moral Values and Behavior Research findings from early adolescence are consistent in supporting a positive association between religiosity and socially beneficial (or “prosocial”) and altruistic
attitudes and behavior. 2
Religions and religious organizations generally promote the ideas of helping others and concern for the
greater good by providing opportunities for community service. 3
Moreover, acceptance of the moral tenets of a religious faith may be instrumental in the development of a healthy sense of responsibility and even guilt that may lead adolescents to avoid wrongdoing or to make amends when they have done wrong. 4
Other findings seem less clear-cut. For example, one study found a somewhat stronger association between religious involvement and altruistic behavior than between religious involvement and altruistic values. 5
This may be due, in part, to the frequent inclusion of service activities within religious education and youth fellowship programs. For some adolescents, altruistic behaviors (such as participating in charity events, and donating time and effort to helping others) may reflect participation in a group (such as a church youth group) in addition to, or rather than, a personal commitment to helping others. In other words, religious activities may represent a pathway to prosocial behavior.
Personality and Mental Health
Research is thin on the relationship between adolescents’ involvement in religion and personality and mental health. Theoretically, religiosity is expected to be linked to better mental health and emotional well-being. Religious beliefs can serve as a resource for coping with life’s difficulties (“The Lord never gives you more than you can bear”); moreover, belief in God’s love and feelings of acceptance within a religious community may enhance one’s sense of selfworth. Relatively few studies have been conducted in this area, however. And those studies that do exist find that the association between religious involvement and belief and adolescents’ self-esteem (the most frequently examined topic) is generally small and frequently not statistically significant.23
However, while the evidence that being religious has a positive effect on adolescents’ mental health and personality tends to be fairly weak, there is no indication in research studies of negative effects of religiosity on any aspect of well-being.
Current measures of religiosity in childhood and adolescence are inadequate. As noted earlier, most studies of religiosity in adolescence (and the very few studies of religiosity in childhood) use “snapshot” measures of religious practice and beliefs, which do not allow for tracking behavior or making comparisons over time. Further, no measures of religiosity unique to younger children were found in our review, which explains our emphasis in this brief on adolescents. In the rare studies that do include preadolescent children, measures tend to be adaptations of the same measures used with older adolescents and adults. The almost exclusive reliance on responses to questionnaires represents another limitation of existing research studies on religiosity and wellbeing. Moreover, the questions used to tap religiosity vary widely across different surveys,28 suggesting that the research literature would benefit from greater standardization of terminology and measures (although, given the inadequacy of current measures, it is too soon to determine which existing measures, if any, may be most useful). Also, frequently the questionnaires used include only one or a few questions (for example, how often respondents attend religious services or how central they consider religion to their life). Information derived in this way may not be able to capture the varying levels of religious belief and practice or the complexity of the religious experience in respondents’ lives. The lack of longitudinal studies limits understanding of the importance of religiosity in childhood and adolescence in a number of ways. In order to fully address the individual, family, and community influences that predict religiosity – or to examine the extent to which religiosity in childhood and adolescence promotes future well-being – studies are needed that follow individuals across time. The dearth of such long-term studies means, for example, that we currently cannot say that participating in religious activities when an adolescent is 13, for instance, is related to how well – or how poorly – that adolescent will do at age 21 on varied
measures of well-being. Few studies have used multivariate analyses that take account of confounding factors that may be associated with both religiosity and outcomes. (Multivariate analysis is a method for examining three or more variables at the same time.) Lack of consideration of such factors may lead researchers to overestimate the effects of religious involvement on well-being. For example, being involved in religion may be affected by family and neighborhood factors, such as family structure, risks in the neighborhood, and poverty. These can influence proximity to houses of worship and the capacity to attend services frequently and become actively involved. Few studies have considered possible differences in the impact of religious involvement on subgroups of adolescents. The strength of the effects of religious involvement on adolescent well-being may be influenced by gender, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, or neighborhood characteristics. However, few studies to date have systematically evaluated the effects of the characteristics of adolescents and their environments. Failure to do so may lead to over- or underestimation of the importance of religion for different groups of adolescents. For example, in a study described earlier, it was found that religion had a stronger positive influence among adolescents living in distressed neighborhoods than among adolescents living in more stable neighborhoods. 6
The responsibility of raising the children alone carries the stigma of a failed marriage. The chances of succeeding professionally let alone attaining a position of leadership seemed difficult to imagine.
According to Reyes it was more advantageous to be a solo parent, in the sense that there is more harmony in their home. To them, there is only one policy and one discipline they were following. Being solo parent is a tough job, he said. The responsibility of shouldering the double burden can be physically and emotionally draining. For other people, being a solo parent may be disadvantageous especially on financial side.
In addition to what Reyes started, many parent with financial problems, find them overworked, tired, and as a result become more easily upset and irritable.
Bringing up children is a delicate issue; one has to go by instincts in dealing with them. For example, one policy may work for one child but not for the others. Some children can be easily persuaded or motivated while others need to be intimidated, so others usually play it by ear.
For some parenting tips Pijuan advised that parent should let their children know that they loved. So that no matter how angry the parent are, no matter how much discipline those parents tried to instill, they will understand that it is for the sake of discipline and not because parents hate them.
According to Robert Kilpatrick (1992), he was simply showing love for his daughter, giving her his time and trying to see the world through her eyes.
Mothers, fathers, bring a unique presence, a special strength to raising children, says Ray Guarendi, a clinical psychologist and a writer of books entitled Back to the Family. Guarendi’s book (1993), shows that traditional values, rooted in the bed rock of mutual trust, truth and unconditional love, are still the keys for successful childbearing, and in this setting, fathers bring special gifts to parenting.
Sometimes fatherly instincts come easily; sometimes, they have to be cultivated. Culled from real life experienced, is what kids need most from a dad. Someone who shows his love for them. Someone who will spend time with them.Guarendi noted that some of the most important memories kids latch on to about their parents evolve from routine moments in family life. Someone who can see the world through a child’s eyes. This is one of the most overlooked rules for a father. Someone who will set limits. Parents reluctant to discipline their children have forgotten an intuition that kids have about discipline and freedom.
Furthermore, Liza Ang(1994) said that fathers and mothers can best promote the development of their children in three major ways:
Understanding a child’s basic needs;
Motivating the child behavior and;
Serving as models of appropriate behavior.
In the study made by Elizabeth Adeva (1994) on the parenting behavior of parents, there should be a better understanding between parents and children, researching out must come both ways. Parents should continually be interested in their children’s welfare.
On the other hand, Grace Estanio (1994) found out that parents who show genuine concern for their children’s emotional welfare may find it relatively easier to open lines of communication in the home.
Another related study is that Elizabeth Ortega (1995) she pointed that a common parental crime is the lack or even absence of respect for children’s feelings. High regards for our youngsters’, sensibility ought to be given prime consideration.
In the study made by Nord (1982), after separation, the solo parent is usually glad to have the children with him or her.
Everything else seems to have fallen apart, but as long as solo parents have their children, they retain their parental function. Their children’s need for them reassures them of their own importance. The mother’s success as a parent becomes even more important to counteract the feelings of low self-esteem that result from separation. Feeling depressed, she knows she must bounce back for her children. Yet after a short period the mother comes to realize that her children do not fill the void by her separation.
When a man separates his wife, or vice versa, a family is being broken apart. And when children are a part of that family, it’s not just the adults who suffer. It has long been recognized that the initial impact of separation can be extremely traumatic for children of all ages. But on the other hand, popular opinion also held that since children were resilient by nature, after the initial shock they tended to adjust or bounce back very quickly. As a result, most professional studies concentrated on the long-range effects separation had on the parents. Recently that trend has changed- it is now recognized that the greatest victims of the separation experience are the children.
Kelly (1989), stated that is you are a solo parent your children have a right to love, stability and a future. You are still a family. You are not somehow less of a person because you are in a new role.
To provide the environment of success for your children, you have to know you can make it. Nothing breeds confidence like success.
One of the biggest problem to a mother is being depressed, worried, and self-concern. Second problem having a lowered standard of living. The concerns of being a mothers is directly affected their children. They can’t able to provide the care and other necessities of their children as they felt they should. The study found that with women, earning capacity proves to be a direct determinant of happiness and well-being. Women who did not reach college and who are in the lowest income group are approximately twice as likely to become depressed as the problem of child-raising as those who are educated and hold high-paying, professional jobs, blue-collar women earning low income are three times more apt to complain of lowered standards of living than those in the higher bracket. High wage-earners, on the other hand, have a different problem. Almost a third of them claim that their involvement with members of the opposite sex is the most trying part of solo parenting.
Who are in process of divorce is a one of the hardes situation to be in. sometimes happeni between couple, that concerns most people. Somehow divorce is hurtful on both partner to those who undergo, the children end up with the greatest amount of problems. This is a challenge to a child that can develop and not always seen by the naked eye, and do not always come to the surface right away.
Sometimes children try to stop the divorce of their mother and father, but some of it will just accept what happened. Some of the children will tell that they are happy for what the decision they had. This is not really the case, as one would see if he or she talk with the child for a while. There are lot of things that divorce does to a family, and there are lot of things that can affect to their children. In some situation the effect are rarely positive and helpful in the perception of others. Divorce has many negative effects on the psychological and social aspects of a child’s life.
There are lot of psychological aspects on a child’s life that can change when their parents undergo to a divorce. As previously mentioned by the researcher a child may not appear initially how they feel about the divorce, but the real feelings of that child will appear in some time. The researcher in an article of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry says, “children incorporate repertoires of hatred, impulsive, and violent behavior into their own behavior as a result of observing their parents’ responses to rage and frustration”. A lot of children who are really the witness in the process of divorce of their parents. It will become natural to a child . The child naturally looks to their parents for the example of how to handle certain situations and emotions. In the process of divorce there is so much bitterness and aggression that is expressed by one of them or both parents of that child. To a child who witness this situation is not healthy for them for several reason. The main reasons is that the child can develop some attitudes that is not appropriate. For example being angry and aggression to their parents situation. One of the tools of a child in solving their problems is being angry and the aggressive felt by.. The child becomes like the parents and it has negative impact to others because of not knowing or understanding how to control these feelings. They may often violently lash out to those around him or her that can affect these feelings to occur.
It really affect the child’s behavior it can result to the next psychological problem that divorce has to their. One of the major effect of divorce is depression.
Based on the study conducted by Hetherington, Stanley-Hagan & Anderson, they emphasized that there is a greater effect on children the way their parents interact with each other rather than the actual divorce itself. In fact, it is hard to distinct the effects of divorce from a broken relationship. In this way, the bad effect of divorce may be traced back in the individual’s differences before the divorce itself, unfortunately these negative effects is related to emotional conflicts and separation which can proceeds to legal divorce.
In general, individuals who have experienced a family conflict have a more difficult time catching up with their studies and their extra-curricular activities in school rather than individuals who have a complete family or blended families (Carlos, 1995). However, every child has a different way on adjusting to parental divorce or separation. In some circumstances, children that is a product of a divorce family show only a small negative effect that last for a short period of time; and in few circumstances, some children exhibit a poor adjustment to the negative effects of parental divorce. According to Dacey and Travers, not all children from a broken family exhibits negative effects, some of them grow strong and healthy and later they are the one who supports their family.
On what way children become more successful in adjusting to parental divorce? Based on studies conducted by Carlson and Hines, they concluded that children can easily accept the reality of having a broken family if the parents provide continues and coordinated parenting, this can be done if they continue to monitor and discipline their children. This new parenting role requires a problem solving approach, in this approach both the separated parents hide their own problems and conflicts to their children and avoids having disagreements or criticizing each other in front of their children.
Accepting the idea of having a broken family can cause some emotional problems to children, this problem sometimes end up of having trouble in meeting their academic and social expectations at school. Simons, Gordon, Conger and Lorenx said that emotional aspects of divorce include feelings of anxiety, depression, guilt and aggression. In most cases, parental separation affects children’s sense of well-being and lowers their self-esteem.
Many studies had conducted and reveal that a great number of couples planning to have a divorce refuse to believe that divorce can cause a negative effect on their children.
A study conducted by the Institute of American Values that was released in 2002 reveals that unhappily married adults who end up in a divorce doesn’t exhibit any emotional or psychological improvements compared to those couples who stayed married for the rest of their lives.
According to several studies, divorce doesn’t improve your emotional health but instead it makes your emotional health worse. This is due to the stress and financial burden a couple is facing during the divorce process.
These are some of facts about divorce you might not knowâ€¦.
1. A study created by the Institute for American Values reveals that eight out of 10 couples who don’t continue on the idea of divorce become happy couples five years later.
2. Almost half of American children see their parent’s break up in person. Then half of them will also witness the breakup of their parent’s second marriage.
Many couples engage in divorce and then end up remarrying another individual without knowing the true reason of their marriage problem with their first marriage. This is the main reason why second marriage divorce rate is higher compare to the first marriage.
According to the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry,
teenagers that is raised by a single-parent or in a blended family are three times more likely to seek a psychological help within a given year.
These are some of the other outrageous statistics about the effect of divorce on children:
According to Dawson (“Family Structure and Children’s Health and Well-being” Journal of Marriage and the Family), twenty to thirty-five percent of children who are living with both biological parents are physically healthy than those from broken homes. Children who have divorced parents have greater possibility to experience injury, asthma, headaches and speech defects than those children whose parents are intact.
According to Wallerstein (“The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children” Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 1991), after six years of parental marriage separation, a study of children revealed that even though many years have passed, these children still feel “lonely, unhappy, anxious and insecure”.
According to McLanahan and Sandefur (“Growing Up With a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps” Harvard University Press 1994), Children who have divorced parents are approximately two times more expected to drop out of high school than those children whose parents are intact.
According to Angel and Worobey (“Single Motherhood and Children’s Health”), fifty percent of children with divorced parents are more probable to develop health problems than those with intact parents.
According to Fagan, Fitzgerald and Rector (“The Effects of Divorce On America), fifty percent of those children who are born this year with both parents, before reaching their 18th birthday, they will experience the divorce of their parents.
Hopefully these statistics may ultimately cause you and your spouse to sincerely consider all the cost of divorce before you make the final choice.
Based on these statistics, it becomes clear that children need secure, loving homes with both parents. There is, of course an omission to every rule, and in this case it is households where violence is taking place. Children should under no situation remain in a violent ambiance that is unsafe for them.
If both of you have just “grown apart”, or fell out of love and if there is no violence enchanting place in your marriage, for your children’s sake, I advise you to seek out help for your marriage before you give up completely.
It has been expected in the United States today that almost half of all couples that walk down the aisle will rashly have divorce, but how about the clause “until death do us part?”
Over time, there have been many theories obtainable as to why divorce occurs and why these tolls have enlarged so radically over the last 30 years. Some think that the country may take part in a role; others suppose that the span of the courtship plays an significant piece; cohabitation preceding to wedding “increases” the chance that separation will result; or not cohabitating prior to marriage may add as the evolution era is too stressful; still others think that the separation progression is too simple; if laws were stricter and divorces were further hard to get, these divorce statistics would get better over era. At this era, although elevated, the separation tempo has decreased to some extent lessening the minds of the American public. There is still small hope that these information will ever diminish completely.
In this fast paced civilization that we exist in nowadays, it must to be simple for us, the American public, to be aware of this phenomenon. The standard “American Family” has both parents in the place of work, financial stress, job discontent, children in school activities and sports, “high demand” lifestyles and generally small time to center on the family’s group cohesiveness. Although Waite and Lillard (1991) viewed that children, especially young children, present and improve marital steadiness, environmental stressors and everyday labor are often more than a parental relationship can endure. These “standard” stressors alone can make much chaos, turmoil and in time lead to marital damage, argument and divorce.
There is a current data which supports that stress in a broken family is mostly affecting the children. Divorce is seen, as the cause of the negative events and psychological distress to the youths. One explanation purposed by Katherine
Effects on Adult Relationships
Many studies show that family conflict was typically a strong precursor to divorce and lead children from divorced families to rate their relationships as having greater family conflict. Those from intact families reported more cohesion, expressiveness, sociability, and idealization and less conflict than those from divorced families. However, coming from a divorced family did not affect young adults’ self-esteem, fear of intimacy, or relationship satisfaction, but it did affect fears and expectations for divorce (Kirk, 2002).
In-depth studies strongly indicate that the attitudes surrounding marriage and success in marriage is transmitted between generations in divorced families. Men and women from divorced families tend to score significantly lower on several measures of psychological well-being and more likely to be divorced themselves (Franklin, Janoff-Bulman, & Roberts; 1990). This trend has the potential to have social impact on our culture because the evidence suggests that adult children of divorce have relationship problems that lead to divorce in their marriages as well, which could lead to a perpetual cycle of this phenomenon.
Perhaps the greatest problem associated with divorce is that it does appear to be a cyclical phenomenon. An estimated 40% to 50% of children born in the U.S. in the 1980’s experienced parental divorce (Fine, Moreland, & Schwebel, 1983). Women who experience parental divorce have a 60% higher divorce rate than their counterparts; while men whose parents divorced have a 35% higher rate of divorce than men whose parents remained married (Glen & Shelton, 1983). It seems clear that people from divorced families are more likely to be divorced themselves and therefore convey the impression that marital dissolution is more acceptable. Amato (1987) states that adult children of divorce feel more pessimistic about their chances of life-long marriage and evaluate divorce less negatively than do other young adults.
Students experiencing post-divorce conflict were more likely to have engaged in premarital sexual intercourse, their satisfaction with their current relationship was lower, and they showed a decline in the parent-child relationship. These adult children of divorce also expressed more difficulty in finding people with whom they could establish relationships (Morris & West, 2001).
Judith Wallerstein (2004) has been one of the leading researchers on the phenomenon of divorce and its impact on adult relationships. Her 25 y