Domestic violence happens in three different ways in Vietnam, they are physical, sexual and emotional. Striking information shows that about 58% of women in Vietnam have been through at least one kind of domestic violence in their lifetime (UN 2010). It is obvious that women are prone to suffer from domestic violence than men and home does not seem to be the safe place for many women. About 97% victims of domestic violence is women (Binh 2011). Among three ways are two most common ones, namely physical and sexual violence. Domestic violence is widespread and varies greatly in different regions. 42% of women in the Southeast region have been abused by their husbands (UN 2010). In Ninh Binh, a woman used to be beaten once or twice every week (Swiss Agency for Development and Cooperation n.d.). Besides, the variations among regions, the situation is also dissimilar from one ethnic minority to others. The proportion of H’Mong women who are abused is 8%, and that of Kinh women is 36%.
The problem has been worse because of people’s outdated view. Women are still in silence as they think it is a good way to maintain happiness in their family and being women, they need to be tolerant. Men, in addition, suppose that they can do anything since they are the most important people in families. Therefore, men still beat women for unreasonable causes such as lack of money for drinking, losing gamble, etc.
2.2 Violence should not be used to solve family issues
Many problems arise during family life; hence, people especially men, sometimes unconsciously apply violence to deal with those problems. This method is completely unnecessary. There are some explanations for this discouragement.
Domestic violence has very bad effects on victims (Child Welfare information Gateway n.d.). First of all, it causes “health problems or physical injuries”. Victims have to put up with normal injuries like scratches and bruises. Seriously, there are fractured bones in some cases, and victims may regularly experience headaches or stomachaches. Accordingly, women are unable to work to earn their living (Marjorie 2010). Secondly, women who are abused possibly suffer “psychological problem”. For example, many women become particularly angry and depressed; they abuse their own children and drink alcohol to alleviate the physical and emotional pains. Some studies show that “victims of domestic violence are more likely to maltreat their children than those who are not abused by their partners” (cited on UN 2010). When victims have no alternative, they put an end to their lives by suicide. Battered women commit suicide more often than those who are not battered (Marjorie 2010). That is completely a tragedy.
However, women are not the only ones who suffer from the consequences of domestic violence. Children in this family accidentally become victims. These children do not have chance to enjoy their childhood. They have no choice but growing faster than others. While other kid are loved and taken care of by parents, those ones are responsible for doing housework, looking after younger sisters and brothers and thirsty for love. Moreover, their studying at school will also be affected. When children must do too many works and do not have enough time to sleep, they will fall asleep in class. Therefore, they can not understand the lessons and be blamed for being lazy and even some children drop out of school (Rebecca 2011). Gary Direnfeld (n.d.) indicates that children witnessing domestic violence seem to use violence as a way to gain what they need and want. Boys tend to get things they want by this way, so they do not have chance to improve skills like discussing and making dialogue to do. On the other hand, girls accept violence, and consider it a normal phenomenon. Besides, boys tend to bully and intimidate while girls are likely to exclude somebody and talk behind him or her. Another effect is that children become more aggressive and show violent actions (Rebecca 2011). It is because these children can not expose their feelings at home. If they have chances to express, they are possibly hit, spanked and punched. Children, at that time, are like “a pressure cooker waiting to let out the steam (Rebecca 2011). Last but not least, domestic violence has bad influences on kids as they grow up. It is clear that parents are the first models in a child’s life. If children are exposed to verbal abuse such as throwing, damaging furniture, slapping, kicking and insulting words everyday, what will happen? Certainly, there will be effects in the future life. In adult life, men witnessing domestic violence in childhood are more likely to abuse their wives than those who did not witness as children. Likewise, women who were exposed to violence in family when being small seem to be more tolerant towards violence from their counterparts.
Some people still maintain that violence helps them tackle with improper behaviors of women; for example, they spend too much time glancing themselves at the mirror, do not cook the meal, take care of their families and talk back to the husbands. However, there are other ways to improve the situation instead of slapping or beating their women. Husbands can explain to the wives or give them a small gift and talk with them about happiness in their families. Moreover, domestic violence can lead to break-up in a family. According to Gender and Development Reseach Institute, 49.7% of families are broken up because of family violence (cited on Binh 2011). Also, it has no good effects on their children when they grow up.
2.3 Recent solutions to domestic violence
Using violence in families is by no means humane and tolerable so it is necessary to find the solutions as soon as possible. However, in the face of this problem, both Vietnamese government and citizens must join hands to relieve the consequences of domestic violence in daily life.
In term of the government, the very first thing they need to do is to educate their people. They should emphasize that domestic violence is not anyone else’s problem; it is social so that people realize the seriousness of this matter. They also ought to explain clearly what domestic violence is, how it influences people’s lives and family tie. In addition, schools and healthcare centers need participate in this champagne. They can organize a meeting to talk about violence; hence, people’s awareness are raised at “an early stage of their psychological development” (Swiss Agency for Development and Cooperation ). In the long term, the government needs to put more efforts into eradicating poverty. It is important to teach people some kinds of jobs and lend citizens money with a low rate of interest so that they can earn their living.
Moreover, it is necessary that each individual has a notion of reducing violence in their families. First, people should remain good relationship with intimate partners. Family’s atmosphere must be comfortable, happy and peaceful so that house will be the most wanted place for everyone. When there is something wrong in family, the husband or the wife must know how to behave in order to calm down the other. Silence when in need is encouraged. Another solution is that women should understand more about domestic violence to protect themselves while it occurs. If women are abused, they should not keep silence. Authorities need to know this so that they can intervene and find the answers. Parents have to be aware that domestic violence has negative effects on their children and it is essential to respect the intimate partners.